Beauty Pageant – A Humorous Speech

Catriona Gray Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Winner

ABC’s to Winning A Beauty Pageant

In life, we all crave for success. In the Philippines, there are three known victories. First, when Manny Pacquiao wins a fight. Second, when you get elected as President but even bigger than that, when you win in a prestigious beauty pageant such as Miss Universe. From the country that might be renamed Maharlika, land of countless typhoons, and unlimited rice, I am no other than beauty pageant veteran Miss Universe Catriona Brown.

Fellow Toastmasters and guests, Good afternoon. Beauty queens are highly revered for their intelligence so today I am sharing with you a complex lesson that you’ve never heard before, the ABC’s of the Universe. It is what we beauty queens swear by, the sweet secret to succeeding in life!

Miss Universe 2019 Beauty Pageant Winner Catriona Gray

A for Attitude

First, A. Do you have an idea what could it be? A stands for Attitude. To win, you need to first have the right winning attitude and it has to exude with every action you do. Whether it is walking into a room, hailing a jeepney, or merely avoiding the floods in Colon. The first step to winning is thinking you already won.  Attitude brings out a different aura.

B for Beauty

Second, B. What do you think beauty queens need to win? Brains? That is optional! B is quite a giveaway, it is none other than beauty. When I was in Binibining Pilipinas, we had a full schedule. You would need to be at Araneta Center by 9 AM looking pretty and polished. It is a full day of sponsors visit and photo shoots. By the time it is 6:00 PM, official events are done. Our day, however, does not end there. After that, we head off to intense workout because if you want beauty, you got to also have a body. We then train on how to walk beautifully in heels and God knows how hard it is. Same goes for life, we all have so much to do in a day but this is not an excuse to look ugly. At an age where social media is life, you need to always look your best. So the next time you do your laundry, remember these wise words I learned from Binibini, “Never leave your room without lipstick or eyebrows done because kilay is life” but do not overdraw, everything is good but in moderation.

Beauty Pageant Secret C for Churva

Lastly, C. You may think, charm? Well yes, charisma does matter but as a newbie Toastmaster and an experienced beauty queen, you need more than that to win in the dreaded question and answer portion. We need to learn the art of Churva. According to Miriam Defensor not Webster, churva is a word from the gay community. The word derived from the Greek word “cheorvamus”. Churva defined as a word used in place of something you want to express but you cannot verbalize. Every Toastmaster knows how it feels like to be volunteered by someone else into joining the ever relaxing Table Topics, well, beauty queens have to deal with the same.

If you do not want to have a major major mistake in life, learn to churva. Because I believe. I believe. I believe. You do not want to be a Janina San Miguel who ended up, “Well, my family’s role for me is so important b’coz there was the wa- they’re, they was the one who’s… very… Hahahaha… Oh I’m so sorry, Ahhmm… My pamily… My family… Oh my god… I’m… Ok, I’m so sorrry… I… I told you that I’m so confident. Eto… Ahhmm. Wait.. Ok, I’m so sorry… I… I told you that I’m so confident… Eto, Ahhmm, Wait… Hahahaha.’’ Painful right? In pageant and in life, you have to be ready to come up with an answer. It spells the difference in being confidently beautiful.

Remember your ABC’s

I work a lot in the slums of Cebu and the life there is poor and very sad. And I’ve always taught to myself to use the ABC of the universe and to be grateful. If you follow my tips, you will see situations not only with silver but also gold lining. If you learn the ways of a beauty queen, we can have an amazing world where negativity could not grow and foster, where you do not need photo filters and children will have a smile on their faces. Remember attitude, beauty and churva to conquer the universe!

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